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Monday, 11 December 2006

Broken. | 10:45:00 pm |



slow jams + vodka.

Trust me, it`s not a good combination. Last night I drowned myself into vodka hoping that it would wipe away the pains in me. But it didn`t. Instead, I cried more and more that I even tried to kill myself. The pain I am feeling is very unexplainable, I just don`t know how to handle it.

EDIT [7.57pm]

A few questions passed by my mind when I woke up.

- Bakit nya ako iniiwasan? Kala ko ba gusto nya ng maayos na break-up?
- Akala ko ba gusto nya mapag-isa? Bakit sinasabi ni Robert na nagkikita sila?
- Bakit ayaw nya pag-usapan yung naging problema namin?
- Bakit ayaw nyang makipagtulungan sakin para maayos uli lahat?

Is it really that easy for him to forget? Ganun na lang ba lahat ng pinagsamahan namin ng 1 whole year? Ganun na lang ba kadali para itapon lahat ng plans and dreams namin? Ganun na lang ba talaga kadali sa kanya para bitiwan yung relationship na pinaglalaban namin?

I need answers and I need him. If I only knew that this will happen I should`ve treated him like any other guy in my life. I never should`ve made myself fall for him so deep so I won`t be in this kind of pain. I should`ve prepared myself that I will lose him. I should`ve never given him all of me.





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