Tuesday, 3 June 2008
Countdown!
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9:12:00 am |
27 more days before I turn 19.
13 more days before school starts.
It's getting closer. I don't know exactly what to feel. I don't even feel that I'm growing up, I'm just getting older. It's time to be a bit more responsible and less outgoing.
A few days ago a friend told me
'Ang hina mo pala sa mga ganyan noh?' While pertaining to a heartbreaking incident that I was so strong to talk about until it was already infront of me that tears almost started falling down my cheeks. Then another friend said
'Nakakapagbigay ka ng advices sa'min pero hindi mo naman kayang gawin sa sarili mo.' And then she continued on telling me that I was awesome at telling them to stay away from the things that kept on hurting us, while I myself can't do that.
Yesterday, I was touched by Sandra's message.
*She's a friend from Iceland who had a baby at practically my age.* She told me I was the only sensible person that she can talk to on her whole YM list. Then I thought, if a person sees me in that way, well maybe I can somehow be the same persom to myself.
That's when I realized, I can never be the same person to myself as I was when I am infront of my friends. That now, i need to be stronger than who I was before. That I can't continue to cry over the things that hurt me only when nobody sees me. And get myself drunk when I'm in so much pain. That maybe I haven't grown up after all. I am still the same person as I was before, I just learned how to handle it. That sooner or later I might once again fall down to that deep depression from where I was before.
... And it scares me, because just when I thought that I was doing better. I suddenly realize that I haven't even moved from the spot where I began.
An Accident
November 2006
Counter:
Amazing Counters
aba. june 30 ang bday mo? (tama ba bilang ko? hehehe..) advance happy birthday.. :D i-enjoy ang last yr ng pagiging teenager.. ^_^
pareho tayo ganda.. mahilig din akong magbigay ng advice sa mga kaibigan ko, pero di ko naman mai-apply sa sarili ko.. weird, pero ganon eh...
*hugs*
wag ka na sad ok? lahat naman ata tau dumarating sa point na ganyan ang nararamdaman.. believe me... basta kapag nade-depress ka, talk to your friends.. :) it really helps...
Thanks a lot Karmi! Uwi ka na dito agad ah. Hehehe.
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